Nair I say it?!

I want to know who the individual was that made up the societal rules that we all must follow. Who was the one that constructed a society that made it unacceptable for me to tell a woman, that I do not know, her unbelievable facial hair is creating a distraction for me and the rest of the Old Navy customers! In my opinion I would be doing her a great disservice by withholding that nugget of information for which she seems completely oblivious! Am I truly expected to believe that she is unable to see her long, thick, black mustache and goatee in the mirror every morning while she slicks down her dandruff filled locks before exiting the homestead? I cannot do it! I cannot believe that this woman has not encountered any sort of reflective surface in the past 46 years which would reveal her Burt Reynolds whiskers. And let’s just say she HAS never seen herself in the mirror, she possesses hands, hands that feel, hands that know when many inches of hair are being ran through them! Let us also assume (on top of the fact that she is like a vampire and is unable to see herself in a mirror or Polaroid picture) that she truly cannot feel her furry face, would she not have people in her life to inform her that she has amber weighs of grain harvesting on her upper lip? Who is sitting across from her at the dinner table or sharing a cubicle with this woman and has not built up the required amount of courage to inform her that she has legitimate facial hair and needs to do something about it? I am sorry ma’am but please refrain from your attempts at justifying to me why you look like the daughter of Sasquatch! Ya know what ladies; there are plenty of products that can remedy the hairy predicament to which you find your lip. You can shave it, wax it, trim it, Nair it, bleach it, or even twist it into an amusing handlebar deal that would be mildly entertaining while at the same time informing the world that you know you have facial hair and choose to rejoice in it. But can I say any of this? Can I actually inform a stranger of their unkempt lip mane without facing social scrutiny? Probably not, but I guess it all depends on whether or not I truly care. I guess what I’m trying to say is there is no nice, polite, gentle, or politically correct manner in which to tell a woman she has one of Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows growing under her nose, and I don’t know about you but I would feel better if a stranger told me of my grossness rather than be embarrassed by being confronted by a friend. I mean, who would want to deal with that rollercoaster of awkwardness with someone they had to look at every day? I think I’ll pass on THAT mustache ride! That’s what she said.